Am I the problem?
The numbers reached 980 today, but I still haven’t found my answer
Only on the streets were I able to think freely. As the wind softly brushed my cheeks, floods of thoughts started pouring in.
All the things that happened is just too much for my mind and heart to properly process. I suppose these unpleasant events come with growing up. But still, everything is just too much!
I am not used to emotions, all my life I have been living in joy, under the loving hands of my parents, the protection of my older sister, I have always seen life through rose tinted glasses. I was always surrounded by love and happiness. Maybe that’s why I never showed or felt the need to express my feelings. I never cried among separating, never got angry or held grudges. I thought ignoring the obvious signs, the problems would help me keep a smile on my face. Sunshine was the only thing on my weather forecast.
Sunshine + Rain
= Rainbow
- Nguyễn Đào Bảo Khánh -
Cre: Tạ Kim Ngân - Chi đoàn lớp 11 Anh niên khóa 2021 - 2024
Cre: Cuban
992
Drip drop, one by one, the raindrops gently touched my hair, my hands.
Rain poured
I lost…?
Do I deserve all this? Couldn’t there have been an easier way?
The rain fell harder.
Sometimes I wish that I would just somehow disappear, vanish into thin air where no one could remember or miss me. Would my heart be lighter then?
I let it rain on me, for deep inside I knew for sure that stopping now would not be an option.
I opened my eyes through the rain, to clearly see what was ahead, to see what could possibly be there waiting for me
…….
It has been long since I felt a true sense of happiness, a feeling that is shared, a feeling that is like no other. Any tears that were shed ran with the rain drops. I am ready to let that and those who hurt me go… With all my braveness, I did just that. For the first time in a while, I faced my feelings. For the first time in a while, I felt a sense of relief.
A rainbow
Letting go freed a space in my heart that I never knew existed. Letting go helped me realize my true feelings, sort out my actions and priorities. Letting go made space for me to grow.
If I hadn’t let go, I would have never felt this new, overwhelming feeling of excitement.
I would have never been able to find these amazing people, who love the things I love, cherish me as much as I adore them.
I never would have thought there would be someone willing to hear all the things I have to say.
I never would have known that there were many others who care.
If I hadn’t let go…
I would have never seen rain add so much color to my blue sky.
1000
